Wednesday, December 14, 2011

the other side

today, for the first time in my life, i was on the other side...

of drinking.
i have drunk maybe four to five times my entire life, but today was the first time, i went beyond my so called capacity.

i drank three and half pegs of rum..the last half apparently didnt agree with me at all. and soon i was puking..i was lady enough to reach(read that as trotter) the washroom, and into the western style commode, to put my face to the clean hygenic commode and wait for it to all come spluttering out.

as i squatted on the floor, with my face to the commode, i realized a few interesting things.

one, that the commode is clean.,

second,i dont even care if its clean, right now its my best friend

third, i realize why countless Hollywood movies show the guys throwing up in commodes, and not in the washbasins... its a well built walk of shame too..the walk to puke. words like not able to carry ur drink gives a new emotional meaning to what was hither to just words.

i also realize how dev D was able to keep putting his head into a commode without any shame.. wasn't i there i was doing the same thing!

i remember the canteen guy who comes drunk right from teh morning, and the disdain with which i treat him when he smells more than usual...i can suddenly see his side? whats her problem..im doing nothing at all to hurt her...which is what i felt, when i felt the waiters judging me trottering back to the table after my puke.


PS..for good measure, i also puked into an empty glass on the table...well, my companion didnt think it was cool at all!

.i simply care two hoots about propriety and its niceties..cause like i said im on the other side today...!


Saturday, December 10, 2011

mind

today is again one of those days, when the mind is not able to console itself...it wants to be aggressive and play victim, and then become reasonable, and then spoilt, all within seconds of each other...the ever vacillating mind...that is how the mind is today.. they eyes are heavy with un shed tears, the mind is burdened with ungratefulness, the heart simply cannot let go, and is filled with vague unhappiness. which if tried to be confronted. laughs at the heart..and then when i think im free, the mind climbs on the same roller coaster again..

maybe watching some hindi film songs will help numbing it ..hopefully

Friday, December 2, 2011

roles

just when i thot that nothing cud upset me again, it just did...that single phone call.. why did it upet me? cause it was a reminder to rethink roles again.that the old roles were dead, and that if things had to go on, new roles had to be played.

i am not sure whether i want to play any role any longer...no, in fact im sure i want to play a new role, and its the teething problems i guess that is upsetting me